Getting Quiet
My head has been jam packed lately. Just racing back and forth, ideas, thoughts, callings, imposter-syndrome, it's enough, not good enough, the back-and-forth dance is endless. I used to get busier, to dampen the noise. I feel like when you’re on the go, you don’t hear the thoughts, you can’t listen to the voices, it's just react, do, react. Now I try to tune in. To slow things down. To get deeper within myself. To slow the pace of the thoughts and reactions and the go, go, go, do more, do more, and more mantra that makes its way through it all.
I start by recognizing the cycle, noticing when my brain drifts and is no longer present. It is no longer watching what’s in front of me, but playing tricks and scenarios off and on. Once I have noticed I’m there, I know that I need to pay attention to myself. I know I need to take a few extra breathes in this very present moment and start to tune in. Then I can start to get “quiet”. “Getting quiet” for me can look like a few different things. I often start with some sort of physical exercise- my body’s last way of pushing out all that go, go, go energy. This often looks like a run, or a tough workout, or maybe just a walk. Usually once I have noticed my run-away brain, I go get outside. A run can often serve me well here, the energy escapes and I get in nature. I can feel a little more grounded getting outside and pounding my feet into the ground, bonus if it's in a forest or to the beach. Second, I let it settle. I try to take extra care and time to do the mundane things like have a shower, or reply to a message, to interact with my family. I take a few extra breaths between listening and talking, and when I have the space to relax and rest, I do.
When I can get to the space of rest and relax, I can digest and settle. For me this often looks like lying on the floor, eyes closed, and just breathing. Tuning into my breath, and letting whatever thoughts rise up appear. Then I imagine watching them float away. A form of meditation that I have trained my brain and body to give in to. This helps slow me down, makes me pay attention to where my body is, what is happening and how I am truly feeling. Getting settled and quiet allows my body to speak and my brain to listen- something it is often not great at.
The rush of life is always there, and so easily am I caught up in it. My breathing pattern gets shorter, my muscles get more tense, and my brain and body get more busy. Since I have started being able to better tune into my body, I have become awakened and aware. Allowing this quiet to come in has helped me gain trust within myself and in turn has helped hand time back to me. I start to focus on the present moments more, I am able to determine what truly matters to me. I can better spend my time and focus my energy in the ways that are important to me.
This practice cycles constantly. Do I complete this form or stage or structure of meditation every day? Sometimes. Most days I gravitate towards a workout, and taking a few minutes to calm my body and brain. I have cultivated the habit, and know when I need it most. But it ebbs and flows, I do find myself in a time where things are spinning more than usual. It often takes me a few days to realize this, and then I am able to re tether myself back to earth and back to myself.